Kevin, Shannah, Liam, Lorelei & Delaney

There is NEVER a dull moment around here. Last night, as I sat on the couch trying to hold in my tears (so as not to expose Liam to my stress) something just erupted and I bawled on Kevin's shoulder. Liam came over and handed me his shoe as a gift, with a huge smile. I could not help but laugh, smile and enjoy the remainder of the evening with my son. On to today. It's been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I've cried, I've smiled, but nothing has made me laugh out loud. Apparently, Liam decided he was going to change that. This is what I found when I went to get him after his first nap. I would like to note, our son has NEVER taken off his own clothing before, NEVER said "no" or shook his head "no"... I have NEVER seen any of these "skills" before today! But this conversation is TOO HILARIOUS and I could not help but laugh, smile and kiss all over him after! Liam you truly are the light at the end of a very dark hole for me right now...

Not being silent about our loss is looking to be the best therapy for me during this difficult time. Through Facebook I've had countless friends reach out to me and share their stories of loss. Although it doesn't make me feel better, as we're talking about too many babies in heaven, it does make me feel less alone. So I was diagnosed w/ blighted ovum. Meaning the gestational sac and placenta was growing inside of me (the ultrasound showed it was indeed around 7 weeks along) but the baby stopped developing and was reabsorbed into my uterus. Problem is, the placenta is responsible for pregnancy symptoms, so my body still thinks it is pregnant, but there is no longer a baby or embryo. So, until I actually miscarry the tissue, I will feel pregnant. I don't know how to explain how I've been feeling the past few weeks. At first I thought it was just my uneasy feelings of this pregnancy being "unplanned" and so close to my previous pregnancy. It took me a wh...

Doctor's Appt. Today Confirmed what I Had Been Worried About for the Past Week... we Have a Baby in Heaven. Don't Really Want to Discuss it Too Much. Just Knew the Past Few Days Something Was not Right and Unfortunately, I was Right. I'd Like to Say we Should've Kept it a Secret and Not Announced it, but we Discussed this Possibility in the Very Beginning and Felt we'd be Stronger for the Experience and Wouldn't Have to Mourn Alone or  "Hide" our Emotions, so we have no Regrets. We are Confident One Day there will be Another Fagundes Sweet Pea Running Around here. What Happened, I'm Sure had it's Reason (Doc seems to think it was an abnormality of some sort, more on that possibly later). Either way, we Love our Baby in Heaven and will Miss Him or Her with all our Hearts. And If or When we are Blessed Again, we Shall Share with You All, so that you can Rejoice (and Hopefully not Mourn) with us Again. Until Then, we'd Like to Take some ...

We would like to introduce you to Liam's first pet, appropriately named "Dat" (if you know Liam or read the blog entirely, you know why this suits him!). Mama won "Dat" at a local festival/carnival. We hope "Dat" will live a nice fish life. Welcome to our home Dat!

I did some photos today of my barely there belly. See any difference? Kev and I agree there really isn't one (yet!).

Baby #2 was a complete, unplanned and planned, but wonderful blessing we found out about on Wednesday, June 8th (5 days before Liam's first birthday). I was actually rocking Liam to sleep for a nap (he had been really fussy and clingy, would not go down without being in my arms). As he slept, I sat there bored and started looking over my calendar in my phone. I noticed I was a bit late on my monthly gift (which had just officially returned in May). Thinking it was more of a breastfeeding/hormone issue, I decided I'd test just to rule that out as soon as Liam woke up (thinking it'd be negative--or else, trust me I would have waited for Kevin to return home from work first!). Keep in mind, we had been told it would take a while for my hormones/body to return back to normal after coming off of the mini-pill (which I had just stopped at the end of April) combined w/ the bfeeding we were told it may take months, maybe even a year to get pregnant again. We stopped the pill in ...

Let me just say when I planned this vacation for us I did not realize I would be pregnant and therefore DEATHLY ill or EXHAUSTED (no I am not exaggerating!). So please no judgements on ANY photos involving me (eww!). Liam did great the entire trip. He was a real trooper traveling to and from San Diego. On our way there, we stopped at UCLA to visit Liam's friend Caden in the hospital. Sure was nice to see him. We miss seeing Jenee and Caden every day. The Rose Family blog is in my "list" to the side of my page. If you have time, please pray for them and their beautiful son Caden. He is an amazing little boy who is in need of positive thoughts and good cheer. His parents are so strong and dedicated, they could also use your words of encouragement if you have a similar story or kind words to share. Liam and Caden playing in the hospital play room Liam will be a GREAT big brother, he loves baby dolls (he feeds them and pats their backs) Playing in Caden's hospi...