As I said in my last post our holiday visit in Hanford began early this year. While I enjoyed the time with my family, I truly wish it had been under better circumstances. I'm so heartbroken over losing my grandmother. I thought after two miscarriages in five months NOTHING could be worse. And I convinced myself to stay positive through those times. But, I was terribly wrong. Things did get worse and now there is no positive outlook. I can't even look forward to a better year because she won't come back now or then. I'm in such a dark place. So I apologize in advance if our holidays don't look as "cheerful" this year. My mom and I are a lot alike... we did our best to enjoy the holidays, but deep down inside they just weren't the same and they never will be. I do hope you find some joy in this post, I must admit looking at these smiley photos of my little guy is what is pulling me through right now. Liam watching his video from Santa Claus! Too cute...