I have my check up today to see how things have been going the past week. Physically, I'm doing well (minus the awful back pains I've had since the surgery... I thought my back hurt while pregnant with Liam, boy was I wrong). I also may be anemic, since coming off the prenatal vitamins, I've found lots of random bruises on my legs. My little pouch of belly is flattening out and my hormones are about back to normal. All the physical reminders are fading away, which helps.
Emotionally, I felt like I had processed this and was/am over it, then I get around a pregnant woman or newborn (mostly music class-lots of expectant mama's and a newborn baby). I start wondering... will I ever again? Why did this happen to me/us? Will I always struggle? Can my husband handle the worry/stress? Can I? Or I watch Liam love and kiss his baby doll and my heart aches for him. Will He ever be a big brother? And then at some point during the day I get grumpy with poor Kevin, who is doing his best to see me through this and definitely doesn't deserve it (and I'm sure had his own pain too).
Not sure the doc can help too much (maybe with the back pain, which I also feel adds to the break downs). I think time is of the essence. Hopefully time will heal these wounds.
I'm also hopeful Kevin's work week wont be as grueling as last week. So exhausting! If they dont over work him/us, I think a good dose of home (aka mom/dad time) would be therapeutic for me right now. Mom and dad can fix everything better, right?!
I will update later with news from the doc (thinking I wont have much to share). But for now I've got a lively, fun and energetic toddler to chase after/love on. Happy Monday everyone! *hugs*
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